Before we get into this blog post I want to make this perfectly clear. And I am going to emphasize this the best way I can.
I. AM. NOT. A. RELATIONSHIP. EXPERT. Nor will I ever be.
When I came to Hampton, my best friends and I all had boyfriends. And every single time we told someone that, this is the bull we heard: "Ohhhhh y'all not gonna last" "I'm a senior and no one that was in a relationship freshman year are still together" "That's stupid, you need to live. This is college." We heard it all. Every discouraging and annoying comment possible.
Even though everything they said ended up being true and none of us are in those relationships anymore, I still think they were just hating because they didn't have a girl/guy.
However, from experience, having a relationship in college is pretty difficult. The time and distance apart changes a lot of things within your relationship. College is the time for growth and exploration. When I say exploration, I'm not saying exploring every girls/guys bedrooms, but exploring new everything. Learning about yourself. Finding yourself. The process of finding who you are within that exploration will give you this satisfaction and happiness that you've never felt before. And while this is happening for you, it may not be happening for your significant other, or it could be, but in a very different way than yours which will put a wedge between the two of you. That is why a lot of relationships don't work in college, not always because of cheating, but because of personal growth.
Personal Experience:
My freshman year I came into college with the most amazing relationship ever. He was the perfect boyfriend. We spent literally every moment we had with each other until it was time for me to go to Hampton. He told me from the beginning that he didn't want to do long distance. He knew himself and he wanted me around. He didn't want to have a relationship while I was away at school. Stubborn old me wasn't going for that. Being with him since the 9th grade, my thoughts were "4 years apart won't be nothing for us, he can stick through it." And that was the worse thing I could've done.
I should've listened to what he was telling me. He knew what he wanted and I tried to force what I wanted on him. And in return we had to break up because he was unhappy (which he already told me he was going to be). But it literally took me seeing his unhappiness (reallllyyyyyyyy seeing it) to finally be okay with letting him go. Even though the relationship didn't end in a crazy fight because he or I cheated or because we didn't love each other, it was still a painful process to go through because he's my best friend, my partner, my person.
If I could do it all over again... honestly, I would've given him what he asked for from the beginning. Pushing someone into something they don't want will make them resent you and the love and passion that that person has for you will start to disappear. Luckily, your girl here is a boss and we have true love so we're still good even though we're not officially together, but the love is still there and we both are happy with where we are.
All of this to say, if you want to continue your relationship from high school to college do so. If you don't, break it off. If you want to try it and see how it goes and then decide, try that. But don't let anyone tell you how to handle your relationship.
Have a serious talk about your relationship with your partner. Look into what you guys may want for the future, and if you don't know, there is nothing wrong with going with the flow and having fun. College is a stressful alone with academics, the stress of a dragged relationship will only make it worse. Take time to think about what you really want!
T.
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